The apocalypse garden

Ok… Silly post time! Me and the wife were talking about our 30 minute zombie attack plans (As you do) while on the way home from Ikea (Doesn’t everyone do this?) and Kim asked about having a garden to have things like Aloe so you would have a skin balm if you are scratched by Zombie or sunburnt from working in the hot sun (Said no-one in the UK).

Well, as these things go, we talked about how we could have a garden that would help when urban chaos reigns, infrastructure is non-existent and it’s everyone for themselves.

Could you survive…Would you be prepared? Well… Challenge accepted!

Yes… This is actually in our library!

Many people that grow their own food would know that what you can grow is NOT what you can buy from the shops! So a well rounded, locally viable, seasonal plot would be needed. Not only that but you would need crops that can also be used to get seeds for the next year (No shops for you!). So most F1 varieties are out.

You will also need crops that are steady and less likely to fail. So varieties of potatoes, carrots and all that would need to be chosen beforehand to be blight resistant and have long cropping seasons.

Another thing that many people may not think of is a balanced diet! Root crops are a mainstay but you would need other food types or you may die from scurvy or something… Maybe dysentery? (Only if we go across America)

Meat. Now meat will be a luxury for most people, but not totally. A garden would need a space for chickens and maybe a pig or two. You would also need a cockerel for the next generation of egg layers. You will also need to plant food crops for them too. Chucks gotta eat too ya know!

A medicinal herb garden will also be a necessity. Herbs for cooking would be one thing… But a medicinal garden would include far more plants that would get into a modern cottage garden. A copse of Willow would need to be planted somewhere near. If not on your ground then somewhere you can get to it. Willow is a fair, fast growing firewood and chewing willow bark can help with pain. (Willow is the plant that is used to produce Asprin).

To get a list of good plants you can google ‘Medicinal garden‘. Bare in mind that if you are not in the UK some of those plants may not grow right for you! Always go for domestic versions.

Now, the funny thing is that I began writing this blog post as a bit of a joke. But there are quite a few people that actually live like this. It’s amazing! I’m not talking about those that enjoy eating their own foods so grow their own, there are quite a few of those too, but genuine ‘Off grid‘ people… And some bat-shit crazy ones too. O.o

I know that when it comes to it, if the Zombie apocalypse happened I would most likely not do too bad for a time but, lets be honest, life without the internet would kill me!

This is the map that was asked about in the comments. Apparently it’s from 1635. Or so the internet says.

7 thoughts on “The apocalypse garden

  1. Great Post! I got a good laugh, thanks! What is that map of on the wall? My grandmother was known as the town witch, so having a medicine garden is just something normal. Plus, I like knowing what I use on or in my body.
    After going through days of power outages from storms, we decided preserving food is a good idea. Another source of power, a must. Storms, both winter and summer have been getting worse every year. Almost every time, the power goes out. So, we are prepared for a minor outage. The thought of anything big happening would be awful. No internet? I dread the thought of it.

    1. I’m glad you enjoyed it!
      The map it a very old map of the world. I took a pic of it but I have no idea how to fit it into the comment.
      I’ll try and put it in the body of the party for you.

        1. Kim seems to think it was always at her home. I guess it’s something her parents picked up early on.

          I actually also like the smell of it. It’s got an old wood smell. B-)

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